"Remember Kids:"

The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

There are only some things that practice can do,
for everything else, there's

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

I think, therefore I am dangerous

To err is human.
To blame someone else is good management skills

The problem with italian food is 3 days later you are hungry again!

Don't waste your youth growing up!

*He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead

I don't suffer from laziness, I enjoy every minute of it.

I'm not short, I'm fun size.

Take my advice....
I don't use it any way..

There's no business like your own business... So MIND IT!!!

There are some that are wise and others that are otherwise

Mucho Grassy Ass

Think positive and you'll be smarter.

"AA" is for quitters

Its not easy being easy

Global Warming
is not cool

You`re unique:
Just like everyone else

My Dog Can Lick Anyone

It's not the pace of life that concerns me. It's the sudden stop at the end.

My wild oats have turned to shredded wheat

The Dad's Bank
'A lending institute since as long as i can remember!'

connecting people since 1805

I have a firm grip on reality. Now I can strangle it!

About 99% of all women are beautiful
The remaining 1% are my neighbours.

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

The best part of believe is the "lie"

I may not be right...
but I still sound like it

We are what we eat
Which makes me fast and cheap

Patience is a virture,
but flipping someone off feels better.

3 reasons why a pet rock is a good pet

1) You don't have to clean their cage
2) It obey's your commands
3) It's the only pet that can give a person brain damage

Not all Men are fools...
Some are still bachelors

They say memory is the first thing to
What were we talking about?

Today is the new yesterday

History: It gets Old